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Friday, September 23, 2011

the way I feel

My mind is reeling after a week of service in the remote town of Eagan, Tennessee-smack in the middle of poverty-ridden Appalachia. I'm still processing a lot of what I saw, but here are a few things I know for sure:

1. I have done absolutley nothing to deserve the mounds of blessings I have, starting with being born where I was and to the family I was with the life I have. Nothing. Pure act of God. End of story.

2. Pride is a hateful thing and a slippery slope. I found myself wanting to feel sorry for the people who I was serving instead of building a relationship with them. That one totally took me for a loop and nagged at me for the entire 8 days. 

A huge theme in my life for the past few months has been LIGHT; being the light in a dark place, keeping things in the light, basking in the Light, sharing light and most of all-being the light of the world and a city set on a hill. I swear, everywhere I turn and every verse I read is smacking me in the face with some light.

Psalm 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?

My heart is so heavy from the stories I heard, the homes I worked in, the families I saw and the lack of hope I felt, and I just pray that the Fellows' brief presence in Eagan brought some much-needed light and truth to a dark community.

In the midst of being quite shaken, torn between wanting to get rid of all my stuff and resisting the urge to "fix" the town where I just was, I am trying to wait, process and find my rest in God alone.

1 comment:

EMiller7 said...

you are the light. a very bright one at that!