Woooo! 2 posts in one week. Maybe I'm getting back into this blogging business.
Here are some random thoughts that are tumbling around in my brain lately...
I am reading this awesome book called Crazylove, that was recommended to me by my Dad and my sister, Bethany. Simply put: it is awesome. I am only about 4 chapters in and I have already been shaken by a lot of what the author, Francis Chan, has to say. What I have read so far is about the lukewarm American churchgoer that fits God into their life as it is convenient for them. An minute here, a prayer there, continuing on with our much-more-important lives in disregard for the Creator who gave us everything. Chan makes a great point when he says that God is not humble. He KNOWS he deserves our attention and that he should be the center of our lives.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel like I fit that description to a T. I have my routine:
get up, rush to work, work all day, rush to Girl Scouts/church/dinner with friends/home to watch shows and hang out with my dog and roommate, look at piles of laundry to put away/books to read/crafts to make in my room, realize I have stayed up too late, crash into my bed, defeated...and repeat.
My quiet time and reading time are squished in between all of the above, as time permits. During the day, I have very little time where I am quiet and even less when I am still. I fill my driving time to and from work with podcasts and music. I can't even sleep in the quiet, I have to run a fan or some other form of white noise.
As a people, we fill silence with talking on cell phones, listening to Ipods, watching TV and the like and we fill our stillness with the need to text and email and be available to talk to ANYONE at ANYTIME. Our attention cannot be kept, we have to be constantly entertained and we generally "don't have the time" for anything. I am GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY of this.
I want to feel like I have made time for something worthwhile during the day and I'm not just "getting through." My worrying and need to plan have both led me to doubt God's plan for my life. Why is it so hard for me to give up control even in these times when I need answers so badly.
This is an old hymn that I'm sure everyone has heard, or heard of. Listen again, and let yourself feel small.
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here's my heart, O take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above.
