silent nights

Thanksgiving has come and gone. And now the craziness of the Christmas season is about to set in.

After spending time with my parents and extended family and being at my house, I feel even more in touch with how important family and traditions are.

This Thanksgiving was the first I have ever spent without my Granddaddy. My dad'd dad, Richard Priode, died almost a month ago, on Halloween, after a fight with Parkinson's and other ailments. Yesterday would have been his 77th birthday. He and Grandma would have been married 53 years last Tuesday. This is normally a big week, but this year it felt bittersweet.

This year has been the first time I have ever dealt with the death of a grandparent, and with me being 21 years old-I consider myself immensely blessed.

It's foreign to me to think of only seeing my grandparents a few times a year because I have lived within walking distance of mom's parents and fifteen minutes away from Grandma and Granddaddy my entire life. I can't imaging growing up and not being at one of their house's once a week.

My way of dealing with the loss has largely been to put it out of my mind, but that has been harder this week.

The song Stille Nacht(Silent Night) always makes me cry, but for some reason has lately been reminding me of my home. I think it's because when I close my eyes and listen, I picture a vast openness and a massive sky. And then I sit on the front porch of my house and see the same thing.

One of my favorite things about being home is getting out of my car and waiting until all the lights go out and then looking up at the sky. There is very little light pollution because there are no streetlights, no noisy traffic because we are on a dead end drive and there is just...space. It's the closest thing to a silent night I can picture. It has always been so moving to me to be able to look up and see the stars and just know there has to be something else.

And now to know that Granddaddy is there somewhere too.

Happy holidays to everyone and their families.